Spoilers: this shit is offensive, lololol
also I'm extremely bias against jrpgs and shooters because they've pretty much all been the same game for a while now


Metal Gear Solid - 100% interactive movie
This is probably the only thing on the list that just has one problem
See now, you go to play metal gear hoping to get into that espionage action
well fuck you, you'll have to wait an hour for the opening cutscene
While MGS games are just FUCKING AWESOME
watching the cutscences can turn a one hour and thirty minute game (yes I became that fast with these games) into a six hour movie
and the story is just convoluted as fuck, sure it makes sense, IF YOU PLAY ALL OF THE GAMES STRAIGHT THROUGH IN ORDER OF EVENTS

Smash Brothers 55% MIYAMOTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
15% no items, 15% fox only, 15% FINAL DESTINATION

there are two things ruining the game
Tournyfags, and fans (also the money ploy of adding sonic and snake, it was cool in planning, terrible in execution)

Tournyfags because they are the kind of people that will bitch you out for having any item on in a match and complaining because ANYTHING but your fist killed them, when really...well...they just get too butthurt because they can't win in a situation that isn't ENTIRELY OPTIMIZED FOR THEIR BENEFIT
These are the kind of people that pull excuses out of the air when they lose or run their mouth off when they win and just cheapen the entire game as though them winning or losing a match ever matters, IT'S A GAME, YOU HAVE FUN WITH IT
They are the sore winners that aren't fun to play with

Fans, because they do things like this [link]
"HURRR, I CAN CAN SPAM ITEMS, DO NOTHING BUT AVOID DIRECT COMBAT AND USE SNIPING TACTICS BECAUSE THE ITEMS ARE SO BROKEN THAT SKILL LEVEL DOESN'T MATTER"
These are the people that cry an moan when they lose and wonder why they aren't doing as well as that time they fought a level 9 AI, and then suddenly think they are hot shit when they win
They are the sore losers that aren't fun to play with

also Nintendo, because they try to print money from everything they create

and succeed...


Furries - 50% bi, 25% gay, 25% really creepy
Filled with more than enough pretentious jackasses that will pretty much tell you that not hating furries means you are one
It's not enough to boast your porn around everywhere and make everyone absolutely despise anything furry related. But you also feel the need to make your fetish a lifestyle. (well, more of one man pressured a lifestyle into a fetish and everyone went along with it...I do my research, lol) Good job there fuckwits

Furries ruined furry

in a related note, if you have seen a picture of any anthro character at any time and not hated it, you are a furry..Congrats 8D


Call of Duty - 100% another one? really?
Generic war game is ridiculously generic, that is fucking ALL
When they decide to stop pussyfooting around and make call of duty: Vietnam
I'll take them seriously
lol CAN YOU GUESS THE ENDING GUYS?


Kindom hearts - 99% yoai fanfictions, 1% Disney will never mention this game
A good game with a shit story and many gay overtones.
While the gameplay is fun....if you enjoy only needing to hit X and occasionally triangle, the game only gets as much attention as it does because people are idiots and get all "OMG KAWAII DESU N- fuck, YOU ARE NOT JAPANESE, YOU WILL NEVER BE JAPANESE, STOP TRYING TO BE JAPANESE
This game is what happens when fandoms take two decent things and just shit allllllllllllll over them

the music in the game is awesome..I'll give you that...
also THE CONCEPT of the game is cool

Halo - 40% frat boys, 25% kegger, 20% shitty gamers, 10% most overhyped game ever, 5% Everyone on xbl is retarded
A mediocre game that is absolutely worshiped for god knows why.
the first halo was fuckwin, the second was still good, the third was what the second SHOULD have been
halo is what happens when companies milk the system
I like it and all, but damn....also Master Chief is a dyke, true story

Gears of War - 90% HOLY SHIT GRITTY REALISM GUYZ, 10% an actually well designed game
The only thing gears brought to its genre was a neat little non-convoluted cover system. While it is a well put together game, it doesn't deserve the hype it gets
DULL TONES AND GENERIC SPACE MARINE-ESQUE MEN DO NOT A THRILLING EPIC MAKE
also Dom needs to learn to shut the fuck up, seriously

two things that made gears cool

a gun that is a chainsaw

and Dimaggio (also PAIN TRAIN, but not as much)

Final Fantasy - 75% mediocre, 20% stop making them........5% gay
Fuck you, stop feeding the system...let Sqaure enix continue a good series for once
really, this series was good up until everyone went retarded for FF7

TWO MOVIES
A PREQUEL
A SEQUEL
AND A REMAKE ON THE WAY

FUCK YOU PEOPLE, LET IT DIE

Anime - 50% yoai, 20% yoai, 15% yuri, 5% shota, 2% futa, 1% normal hentai, 1% NEEDSMOREEYEBLEACH
Anime that's well done can be astounding, but the shit that some people churn out makes me wish I could hate people to death over the internet
At any given point in time, something anime will always be on the front page of DA somewhere...nuff said

also tentacle rape...like, what the fuck Japan?

Pokemon - 491% retarded, 2% stop making unattainable secret pokemon that only people attending events in USA/Japan can fucking get without cheating, motherfucker I will hate you forever for this nintendo

So you like bestiality right? I think you like bestiality.
...you must like bestiality if you're so dead set on catching all those animals and playing with them
Yeah...you love bestiality...

..you sick bastard....


but seriously, pokemon hasn't changed at all in 10 years because everyone seems happy with the mediocrity of the game, it's fun and all, but after 10 years, you think they'd at least try to add some spice to the game other than 300 MORE POKEMON

the online community is a fucking JOKE
a list of probably 50 pokemon OUT OF 493 that you are almost guaranteed to see should you battle online, god forbid you use anything other than sweeping pokemon
or use unorthadox attacks OTHER THAN SWORDS DANCE AND AGILITY

much like anything lighthearted and fun, it's been ruined by dicks that need to turn everything into a competition, and then the ideal is FORCE-FED to everyone at once

it's sad when a game that is basically just about COCKFIGHTING is reduced to not just picking a chicken and throwing it in the ring
no, you need to genetically alter this chicken, give it steroids, teach it how to wield a knife, and stroke your ego every time your cock comes out still throbbing and massive
unless you're winning money, shut the fuck up and sit down, this isn't tournyfag brawl

Even worse are the people that bring a jigglypuff to the ring and call you out on cheating if you happen to win

IS GAME, U PLAY

and lets not even start on the anime

WoW - 50% lack of irl friends, 40% GRINDAN, 10% there are other actual good games, don't just pick a game because it's popular

okay, so everyone loves a good mmo, but what is it about WoW that makes it good? what is it about ANY mmo that makes it good
the population in relation to what's available
what WoW has going is that they sucked in enough fans of their old games, and everything snowballed from there
but in the end, it's just another mmo, the only difference is that everyone is already playing it... (also the world is fuckign huge)
it's good, but not Reese's for breakfast good
YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE GRINDIN, SO I PUT A GRIND IN YO GRIND SO YOU CAN GRIND WHILE YOU GRIND
(granted, other mmos have faaaaar worse a grind session)

Sonic the Hedgehog - 70% shit needs to just fucking die, 10% tribute to a hero, 10% this is the only one that I will nerdrage on to the highest extent, 10% all sonic fans will disagree with anything negative said about the series no matter how valid it is

Let me start off by saying
NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR SONIC FURSONA
SIT DOWN AND LISTEN TO YOUR CRIMES AGAINST NATURE
THE SONIC FANBASE IS TRUELY A CANCER ON THE GAMING WORLD

Sonic is the only thing on this list that has ZERO merit to itself anymore, it has become NOTHING MORE THAN FANSERVICE, the creator himself said HE BASES THE GAMES AROUND WHAT FANS WANT
This is the worst fucking idea in the world because it's become obvious that fans of your games are either furries or anime driven teens that watched Sonic X
the biggest travesty to ever happen to the series next to sonic adventure 2 (SA1 was bad too, but it had the excuse of not knowing any fucking better+we all thought it was cool....THE FIRST TIME)
All of the characters they keep adding only further widen the cesspool of failure that has become this franchise
Sonic, Tales, Knuckles, ROBOTNIK, NOT THE FUCKING EGGMAN BULLSHIT
Sonic CD Amy, NOT THAT STALKER RETARD
THOSE ARE THE ONLY CHARACTERS THEY NEEDED TO FORM A COHERENT STORY
Why they never went with the SatAM sonic characters is anyones guess, that series was actually GOOD
These days there's too many clone personality characters to keep track of, and sonic is just a fucking dick to everyone

case and point, use him in Brawl, he's good for nothing BUT being a dick

If you even dare try to argue any of this, you are a retard who probably hasn't played the old games/refuses to accept anything you like as bad or flawed and you need to go enjoy your anime tripe and AGNST THE HEDGEHOG somewhere else, you are the one that is causing Sonic games to suck, do us all a favor and kindly smash your face against a rock

If ever you need an example of how bad the sonic fandom has gotten
Type in just about anything in the DA searchbar, and add sonic to it

Sonic fans TRUELY killed sonic

Final words
note that I like all of these things, just not the fandoms behind them, getting angry about my opinions even though they contradict how I feel about the things themselves only proves my point.
if all you pick up from this is anger and hate or bias
then you're either a fan of something here, or you're just fucking stupid and missed the point (basically the same things)

also, feel free suggest fandoms for me to "review" and add up on here












This is simply satire, take it srsly pls